Unconditional Love
by xWinter-of-Rileyx
Summary: After a drunken one-night stand Olivia Benson finds herself pregnant with Elliot’s baby. But in true Olivia fashion instead of confronting him about it she runs. Now 3 years later she’s back for her best friends wedding, and guess who's the Best Man? E/O
1. The 3 R's Realization, Regret, Running

**Picking the title for this story was the hard part, I already had the story line written out and ready to write, but I just couldn't decide on the title, and I've never had trouble with that before so it was a weird. I do not own anything except the ideal its all mine.**

"I run from hate  
I run from prejudice  
I run from pessimists  
But I run too late  
I run my life  
Or is it running me  
Run from my past"

**"I Run to You," Lady Antebellum**

------E&O------

"ok Ms. Benson, you came in for a check up today" Olivia nods, "you said you had been feeling really tired lately," Dr. Shannon says placing Olivia's file down on her desk then takes her glasses off and looks up at Olivia who is staring at her nervously.

"Yes that's right I've just been really tired and out of it lately, is there something wrong with me doc," To say Olivia was nervous was an understatement she had always be in great heath but as of lately she had been tired wanting to sleep all the time she had no energy it was unlike her.

"Well no there's noting wrong with you, it's actually," the doctor looks down at the file in front of her then back to Olivia letting out a deep breath, "did you know you were pregnant,"

"I…I…I ….what," this couldn't be she was on the pill she was always careful.

"You're pregnant about 4 weeks along to be exact," 4 weeks 4 weeks that would mean no no no no, she stared shaking her head this couldn't be it had only happened one time and they were both drunk and the morning after then had just avoided the inevitable. It was Never spoken of again.

"How can these be, I'm on the pill, this…I can't….I can't be pregnant," this is not happening.

"Well you know the pill is only 99 percent effective," Dr. Shannon took a deep breath she hate this part of her job the bearer of news someone didn't want to hear.

"Great so I'm that 1% reject," Olivia shut her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Olivia I know this is hard, and if you really don't want a child there is other options," Olivia's eyes snapped open and went wide staring at her doctor.

"No, no that's not an option, I got myself into this, I'm not going to punish my baby for my carelessness," my baby wow did she really just say that, she thought and placed a hand on her stomach for the first time realizing there was another life living inside her now.

"Ok very well then we will need to set you up for an appointment to get an ultra sound we want to make sure things are going smoothly," Olivia nodded as she stared off into space still trying to process what the hell was happening.

"Olivia," was it going to be a boy or a girl, "Olivia," she was going to be a mother, "Olivia," oh no what if she was like her mother no, no she wouldn't let that happen she was not going to regret her child, "Olivia," she was shaken out of her thoughts and looked up to be meet with concerned eyes. "I'm sorry did you say something,"

"I said I know this is a lot of information to process right now but if you know who the father is," oh shit the father she knew who the father was, she remembered the last time she had had sex in fact she couldn't forget it but right now she really wishes she could just take it back, "its best if you tell him now,"

"Tell him," She looked at the doctor like she had grown a second head, Dr. Shannon nodded, "Yes, I'm not telling you what to do I'm just telling you from my experience its best to do it earlier,"

------E&O--------

Olivia suddenly felt sick as she walked back into the precinct, but she knew this time it wasn't from the baby. She took off her jacket and hung it over the back of her chair before picking up the file she had been looking at before she had left for her appointment. It was then she noticed how silent the room was, she looked around and noticed Fin and Munch were both gone along with there jackets there desks look like they had already left for the weekend but her partner's desk had papers spread all over it and his chair was pushed back like he had left in a hurry.

"Hey you," she jumped at his voice slightly but then relaxed. "Hey," she answered back as she sat down at her desk turning on her computer.

"How'd the appointment go, no bugs or anything right," Elliot joked, but Olivia's eyes went wide, "No, no bugs," she joked back then turned back to her work avoiding the conversation.

She could hear Elliot's laugh, but didn't look up at him, "So what did they say," she let out a breath the looked up at him but didn't meet his eyes.

"They said I was fine, everything checked out," it was the truth everything did check out, there was nothing wrong with her physically.

"Good so they didn't find anything," Elliot smiled at her sincerely.

"What," Olivia screeched out, as Elliot eyed her suspiciously and Olivia quickly put back on her game face, "I mean everything's fine they didn't find anything wrong with me," she smiled and then let out a deep breath when he smiled back, "I told you Liv, you were just worried for nothing," he said turning back to the case in his hand. Yeah she had absolutely nothing to worry about at least not for another 9 months she has nothing to worry about.

Two hours later Olivia had signed her last paper she looked up to see Elliot cleaning up the files from his own desk. "You done," she asked because the last two hours had been extremely awkward not that he noticed but they had definitely been awkward for her, they had sat in silence for the most part which wasn't unusual, they usually did that after every case, kind of there own way of dealing with the case and what had happened. But this time Olivia's mind was far from the case and that was bad very bad. She had to put her problems aside and finish.

"Yeah just finished, you," he asked looking up at her for the hundredth time in the last hour, she would never look up to meet his eyes but she could feel them on her, she knew he knew something wasn't right.

"All done," she says holding up her file. "Hey you want to go grab a bite to eat," he asked her hopeful.

"Um… actually I'm meeting Alex at for drinks," she would have loved to go eat with him but that's what got her in this mess she's in the first place.

"Oh," he sounded disappointed, but not near as disappointed as he would be if he knew the truth.

"Yeah she called and asked me to meet her," I lie I grimes at how strange it feels coming out to of my mouth I never lie to Elliot but then again I've never had a reason to.

"Cool, Ladies night," I throw my head back and laugh as he does some kind of dance move. How can he always cheer me up I wonder in amazement, this is the side of Elliot most people don't see, this playful side, joking side my favorite side.

-----E&O------

Olivia sits at the table and check her watch for the 20th time Alex was suppose to be here 15 minutes ago, I shake my head and sigh seeing no sign of her at the door, I turn back around and am meet face to face with a waiter. "Can I get you anything?"

She's ready to tell him nothing right now when a voice comes from behind her head, "Martini dry with an olive," Olivia roll her eyes and smiles up at him "Water," he nods and walks away.

"I'm sorry, I'm late," Alex apologies as takes her coat and scarf off draping them across the back of her chair in front of Olivia, "Un huh," Olivia give her a look.

"I'm sorry I was finishing up some work," she says sitting down and scooting her chair up to the table.

"It's, ok don't worry about it," she waves her hand to let her know she's not really mad.

20 minutes later Alex is babbling about a case but Olivia can't keep up with a word she is saying its like she couldn't focus, "So I think we have a lead on the Mason case," she trails off studying Olivia, "Olivia you didn't ask me to come her to talk about work did you," Alex eyes the older woman knowing something just isn't right she's been off all night, and she didn't even bust her for being late like she normally would.

"No, no I didn't," she shakes her head looking off at face's around her thinking they look so carefree.

"Well, why don't we get you a drink and then we can talk it over," Alex say waving the waiter over.

"No," Olivia says a little too quickly and curses herself internally for it, "What, Olivia Benson doesn't want a drink that's a first, come on it will help you unwind I know the last case was hard, what do want cranberry vodka,"

"No I can't," Alex stops from waving the waiter over ands looks intensely at Olivia, "What do you mean you can't,"

"I mean the doctor said it wasn't good for the baby, shit," Olivia trails off she had never been on to prolong information she had learned from experience its better to just jump right in and start swimming.

Alex's mouth fly's wide open, "Th….the….baby…you're pregnant," Alex asked in disbelieve.

"Yeah I, Fucked up, and got knocked up OK is that what you want to hear," Olivia screamed out angrily earning a few glances from the tables within earshot.

Alex was stunned but she didn't know if she was more stunned by the news or the outbreak she had just witnessed. "How do you know," because it was the only thing she could get out at the moment.

"I found out this morning," Olivia sat back in her seat and let out a deep sigh, "I cant be a mother Alex, I can barley take care of myself with out screwing up now I'm suppose to take care of another life and try not to screw it up,"

"Your not a screw up, and your not going to screw up you babies life Olivia you're a great woman, this baby is going to be so lucky to call you mom," Alex reach across the table and put her hand over Olivia's giving it a tight squeeze, until Olivia looked up to meet her eyes. "I'm scared,"

"Its ok that's normal, I don't know what woman wouldn't be," Alex smile encouragingly giving Olivia's hand one finally squeeze before releasing it.

"Olivia," Alex said after a few minutes of silence, "Hmmm," Olivia answered still in her own world, "Can I ask who the father is,"

"Its Elliot's," she answered simply because it was the truth she was carrying Elliot Stablers baby, his 5th child and the problem was the other 4 were not hers, and she was not the one married to him, Oh God she was a whore she could almost cry. And Alex well she just nodded because any other answer would have surprised her.

"I need you to do something for me," Olivia spoke suddenly.

------E&O--------

**Sorry to just leave you hanging but I felt like this was a good stopping place. And if you want to find out what happens please leave me a review and let me know what you think, all reviews are appreciated and I accept anonymous ones just saying.**


	2. A Messenger Nothing More…

**I'm sorry this took a lot longer to post than expected. Between finals and the Holidays, I've been busy but I have some time off now, so hopeful I can focus on my writing and this story. **

**Disclaimer I own nothing.**

"I remember the way you made love to me  
Like I was all you'd ever need  
Did you change your mind  
Well I didn't change mine  
Now here I am trying to make sense of it all  
We were best friends now we don't even talk  
You broke my heart  
Ripped my world apart"

"Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You" Kellie Pickler

**xEOxEOxEOxEOx**

**Elliot's Apartment, Saturday November 18, 8:15 am**

"I'm coming," Elliot shouts to his closed front door as he walked up to it trying to put on his sock. The door bell rings again as he leans against the wall trying to pull the sock on the rest of the way, "I'm com…" he starts but stopped when he opens the door and sees. "Alex," he looked at the ADA with confusion he was expecting Olivia they were suppose to go for coffee like every Saturday morning since the separation of him and Kathy.

"Hello Elliot," she greets formally.

"Is something wrong," he asked worriedly as he looks past her to see if maybe Olivia was with her.

"I was sent to give you this," she holds out a white envelope ignoring his question.

"What is it," he asks looking at it skeptically.

"It's a letter just take it, please," she didn't want to do this.

"Who sent it," she let out a deep sigh and pushes the envelope toward him, "Please Elliot I'm a messenger nothing more," he reluctantly takes the letter from her turning it over in his hands before looking up to be meet with nothing but air and the wall across the hall from his apartment.

_My Dearest Elliot,_

_I don't really know where to start I guess I should start by saying I'm on a plane right now south bound. I can't tell you where I'm going I don't want you to come and look for me. El, some things in my life just got very complicated and rather than drag you in to this mess I've made with me, I'm just going to take myself out of the equation. I'm fine and I will be fine but I can't tell you anymore than that I'm sorry. I just want you to know this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I don't want you to hate me. But I want you to know the night we spent together was the best night of my entire life and I wouldn't take it back for anything. But you need to be with your family I don't want to pull you from them. Maureen, Kathleen, Lizzie and Dickie need you no matter what happens with you and Kathy's impending divorce. I'm afraid I would just get in the way of that, so I'm leaving Elliot. I won't contact you. This is the last time you will have to hear from me, or put up with any more of my problems. I just want you to know that I do love you, you're my best friend and I couldn't not have asked for a better more wonderful man to be my best friend my partner or my one time lover. Thank you for everything Elliot, I will never forget you._

_Love, Liv._

The letter fell from his hand as the tears fell from his eyes.

**xEOxEOxEOxEOx**

**The Precinct, Saturday November 18, 11:25 am**

"She's gone," Don looks up from his letter to Alex who was standing with her arms crossed as she paces in front of his desk. She just nods and lets out a quite "Yes," before stopping and turning to look down at his desk where Olivia had left her badge and gun, "She's gone,"

Olivia hadn't told Alex where she was going but Alex made her promise she would contact her once she got to wherever it was she was going, in return Alex would deliver Olivia's letters. She hated it especially giving Elliot his, she had to walk away so she wouldn't cry in front of him because she knew the letter could very well kill him.

She walked out of Captains office and was meet by silent faces of Munch and Fin. "She's not coming back is she," Fin was first to break the silence.

Alex shook her head softly "No, she's not,"

"Where did sh…." Before Munch could finish his sentence the slamming opening of the precincts door turns all there attentions to see and angry Elliot stalking over to Alex, Fin rises from his desk eyeing Elliot.

"How could you let her do this," he spat.

Alex composed herself trying not to get mad at Elliot for lashing out at her reminding herself that he was hurting, "I didn't, she made her own choice Elliot, I told you I was just a messenger,"

"Where did she go, I know you know," his eyes were blood shot.

"Elliot calm down," Fin steps in between Elliot and Alex.

"Fuck off Fin," Elliot leaches.

"Where the hell did she go," Elliot yells making the windows shake.

Alex shakes her head wordlessly "I…I don't know,"

"Bullshit," Elliot screamed and turned to shove the lamp that was on the desk next to him, sending it shattering to the floor. Alex closed her eyes as Fin and Munch stand and watch, Don came out of his office by this point.

Elliot ran his hands over his face tying to hold back tears. "How could she do this to me I thought she lov…." He stops mid sentence the tears finally breaking though as he holds his hands over his eyes and face. His chest heaves as the other 4 people watch his breakdown, Alex wants to hug him tell him it will all be better but she knows her words will do nothing for him he has to deal with this on his own.

To say Alex felt guilty was and understament she felt horrible she let Liv leave, she should have talked her out of it told her that running would do nothing to help the situation but she knew Olivia had to deal with this in her own time, in her own way, and if this was the way she choice to deal then Alex had to respect her decision but it didn't mean she had to like it.

**xEOxEOxEOxEOx**

**Elliot's Apartment Sunday November 19, 2:40 am **

Elliot lays in his bed shirtless staring at the ceiling fan as it goes round and round like his thoughts, thoughts of her. How could she do this to him, didn't she know how much he loved her couldn't she feel it. He would have left his wife for Olivia in a heartbeat if things weren't so complicated. And then the day came where Kathy told Elliot she wanted a divorce that she was sorry but she had found someone else. That she didn't want this to affect his relationship with the children and she would never take them away from him but she just wasn't in-love with him anymore. In a way it was a blessing in disguise.

And then the night drunken night came stumbling down the hall in her apartment, lips on lips, her skin on his Hot. Sticky. Sweaty. Heaven. he could never forget that night, the way it felt to be inside her, him pushing into her, her pushing against him. He could still feel her body against his almost smell her still, in the dreams that haunted his nights since that night. They hadn't really talked about it, the next morning was awkward both had laughed it off and chalked it up to a drunken mistake, they were both drunk and didn't know what they were doing, just to forget it and move on like nothing had happened. But in reality they both knew exactly what they were doing and he couldn't forget it even if he tried.

He just wanted to wake up from this awful nightmare and have her hold him, tell him everything was going to be ok, like the night she did when Kathy told him she was leaving him. She held him as he cried, and blamed himself for pushing his wife into another man's arms cried for what this was going to do to their children. And she just held him and whispered comforting words to him as he cried like a baby. She was his best friend, his partner, the one that was always there for him but now she was gone. He should be mad at her, hate her even, but right now he just missed her. He wanted her to come thought his door tell him it was all a joke, that she wasn't really gone, wrap her small but strong arms around him hold him while he cried. But tonight she was there to tell him it was all going to be ok, to hold him as he cried, his best friend left him so he cried himself to sleep.

**xEOxEOxEOxEOx**

**So this chapter took a lot longer than expected but I hope it made up for the delay. I hope the next chapter won't take as long to get up. Reviews are appreciated and accepted, please let me know what you think good or bad.**


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